Consequence Planner - The Danger of Raising Nice Kids by Timothy Smith

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Age of Child Value / Virtue Behavior / Rule Consequence Positive Consequence Negative 1-2 Consideration Make requests with normal voice; don’t scream Parent will consider request Timeout and request not considered 2-3 Kindness Learn to share Will be able to use toys Loss of toy not shared for one day 3-4 Help Others Do one thing each day to help Mommy Will get to do big-kids tasks like set the table Loss of privilege (TV or videos) 4-5 Responsible use of one’s possessions Put away toys, don’t lose things Will be able to use school supplies Loss of crayons and scissors for 2 days 6-7 Honesty Tell the truth Trusted to play at friend’s house Can’t play at friend’s house 7-8 Fairness Make sure things are “even” Enjoy playing games and with friends Loss of a game or friend time 8-9 Obedience Listen carefully and follow instructions / rules Can choose how to spend free time Loss of free time = time out 9-10 Self-control Get up on time and get ready for school Can stay up until 8:30 p.m. Must go to bed at 7:30 p.m. 11-12 Decision Making Make wise choices with time and friends Freedom to make choices Loss of some of these choices 13-14 Responsibility Weekly clean room and do laundry (due Friday, 6:00 pm) Go out Friday night Can’t go out Friday night 15 Courage Develop / write personal standards regarding drinking, dating, and drugs Enjoy time with friends (unsupervised) Loss of free time, or time with friends will be supervised. 16 Discernment Alert to dangers in people and on the road Get to drive Loss of driving 17 Compassion Other-centered, not self-centered Choice of weekend activities Must spend Saturday serving others 18 Independence Self-reliant; contributes money to pay expenses Enjoy freedom and parents’ financial support Loss of parents’ financial support

From The Danger of Raising Nice Kids by Timothy Smith (IVP, (c) Timothy Smith 2006) Used with permission.

Printable version click here

I asked for permission to use two charts from Tim Smith's book, The Dangers of Raising Nice Kids.  The Consequence Planner (above) and The Countdown to Independence posted here because they were the two documents I wanted to enlarge to poster size in my house!  I need the daily reminder of where I'm going and where I've been in parenting!

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True story:  For my eldest son's 9th birthday he asked for a new privilege (I'm not kidding).  I think we've give him a new privilege on past birthdays but I can't remember what they were now!  Mom Brain.  Anyway, it was the night before his birthday and my husband came up with the brilliant idea that he could have an alarm clock, but it was too late to go to the store!  What to do?  We took the alarm clock right off my dresser and wrapped it up for him.  He never noticed!  Perfect gift!


The other truth of this chart is the first part of this chart doesn't bother me because we've worked through most of it.  The second part - ages 9 and up brought tears to my eyes and made my stomach hurt.  It's hard to think about jumping into this next stage of parenting!  I never thought I'd make it through those preschool years though either!