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You are here: Home / Parenting and Motherhood / Behavior Consequences – From Toddler to Teen

By Kristen 2 Comments

Behavior Consequences – From Toddler to Teen

Behavior Consequences for Kids

Raising kids is no joke.  We are all trying to be the most effective parents possible and as parents we can all agree that we want the same for our children.  Emotional and physical safety, connection, boundaries, patience, but what about virtues?  The one area of parenting many of us struggle with though is what age should we be expecting our child to mature enough to handle a value or virtue?  Such as kindness, honesty, fairness, responsibility etc.  How do we encourage it or reinforce it?

The solution…. a Behavior Consequence Chart for kids.

I’m thrilled to share with you Tim Smith’s Consequence Planner for Kids.

Not only will this offer guidance for parents with children age 1-18 year old, it may just be inspirational too.

I appreciate the ideas for positive and negative consequences that come with each age and responsibility.

Whether you agree with what is on the chart below or not, you may be like me and appreciate the guidance.   Don’t feel intimidated…  It’s a little like my Life Skills Chart,  I always feel like I’m about 2 years behind.   But I am happy to see there is something out there to guide me.

behavior consequences for kids - a chart to make deciding negative and positive consequences for your child a whole lot easier.

Using the Behavior Consequences Chart

A True Story!  For my eldest son’s 9th birthday he asked for a new privilege.  I think we’ve give him a new privilege on past birthdays but I can’t remember what they were now!  Mom Brain!

Check Your Privilege Chart!

I couldn’t think of anything, so I found my copy of the Consequence Planner.  It recommended self-control and getting up on time for school.

It was the night before his birthday and my husband came up with the brilliant idea to given my son an alarm clock…. but, it was too late to go to the store!  What to do?  We took the alarm clock right off my dresser and wrapped it up for him.  He never noticed!

Perfect gift and it fit right in with the age 9 virtue on the chart.  Win!

I Love My Kids But…

Today we might feel like we’re winning and the next day is the most challenging.  But, we keep going and begin again.

I’ve found that most parents are just winging it.  Showing up each day, doing their best and trying again.  I hope you find this guide to be as valuable as I did.

Printable link underneath the chart.

Consequence Chart from The Danger of Raising Nice Kids

Age of Child

Value / Virtue

Behavior / Rule

Consequence Positive

Consequence Negative

1-2

Consideration

Make requests with normal voice; don’t scream

Parent will consider request

Timeout and request not considered

2-3

Kindness

Learn to share

Will be able to use toys

Loss of toy not shared for one day

3-4

Help Others

Do one thing each day to help Mommy

Will get to do big-kids tasks like set the table

Loss of privilege (TV or videos)

4-5

Responsible use of one’s possessions

Put away toys, don’t lose things

Will be able to use school supplies

Loss of crayons and scissors for 2 days

6-7

Honesty

Tell the truth

Trusted to play at friend’s house

Can’t play at friend’s house

7-8

Fairness

Make sure things are “even”

Enjoy playing games and with friends

Loss of a game or friend time

8-9

Obedience

Listen carefully and follow instructions / rules

Can choose how to spend free time

Loss of free time = time out

9-10

Self-control

Get up on time and get ready for school

Can stay up until 8:30 p.m.

Must go to bed at 7:30 p.m.

11-12

Decision Making

Make wise choices with time and friends

Freedom to make choices

Loss of some of these choices

13-14

Responsibility

Weekly clean room and do laundry (due Friday, 6:00 pm)

Go out Friday night

Can’t go out Friday night

15

Courage

Develop / write personal standards regarding drinking, dating, and drugs

Enjoy time with friends (unsupervised)

Loss of free time, or time with friends will be supervised.

16

Discernment

Alert to dangers in people and on the road

Get to drive

Loss of driving

17

Compassion

Other-centered, not self-centered

Choice of weekend activities

Must spend Saturday serving others

18

Independence

Self-reliant; contributes money to pay expenses

Enjoy freedom and parents’ financial support

Loss of parents’ financial support

From The Danger of Raising Nice Kids by Timothy Smith (IVP, (c) Timothy Smith 2006) Used with permission.

>>>>>>>>  Printable version click here <<<<<<<<<<

I asked for permission to use two charts from Tim Smith’s book, The Dangers of Raising Nice Kids.  The Consequence Planner (above) and The Countdown to Independence Chart.

They were the two documents I wanted to enlarge to poster size for my house!  I NEED the daily reminder of where I’m going and where I’ve been in parenting!

Recommended Parenting Books

If this book interests you, may I also suggest The Five Love Language and Boundaries with Children.

Thanks for stopping by…

If you are checking us out for the first time and like what you see you can subscribe here and get new ideas to use with your kids that are fun, practical, and purposeful!

More Helpful Parenting Ideas:

My Kids are Driving Me Crazy!
Teaching Children Responsibility: Countdown To Independence
Life Skills For Kids
5 Love Languages Test For Kids
Bucket Filler Book for Families
Parenting The Connected Generation

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Filed Under: Life Skills, Parenting and Motherhood, Teens and Tweens Tagged With: Birthday, life skills, parenting

About Kristen

Kristen is an Elementary Reading Specialist. She is the owner / author behind Busy Kids Happy Mom, a site dedicated to fun, practical, and purposeful activities to do with your kids. Follow Kristen on Facebook, Pinterest, and subscribe for updates.

What People Are Saying

  1. Anonymous says

    at 8:01 pm

    Completely loving this chart!! I think I need it poster sized too. 🙂

    Reply
  2. Kristen says

    at 9:38 am

    Glad I’m not the only one who needs to super-size this!

    Reply

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